My Top 10 Horror Films

I honestly can’t say that I have one specific “favorite” horror film. Ask me on any given day and my answer will change because there are just far too many great ones from which to choose. That’s why it’s difficult to even pare it down to the ten below because I’m leaving off so many other classics (and non-classics that I just enjoy like 1999’s House on Haunted Hill and 2003’s Dead End).

What are the criteria I used to arrive at my top 10? Basically, I chose the ones that I’ll watch over and over again that scared the bejesus out of me when I first saw them (and, to be honest, a few still do). I also selected films that I feel are primarily horrific in nature and any other elements of the story are secondary (Aliens and Jaws are fantastic films but I see them as more action movies with strong horror elements underneath, so while they would be on a longer list, they don’t make the cut for the top ten).

Without further adieu, here are my top 10 in alphabetical order with a very brief description as to why:

Alien (1979)

The ultimate haunted house movie! After encountering a derelict spacecraft on an alien planet, the crew of the Nostromo find themselves being hunted one by one by a creature determined to kill them all. Sure, you can argue this is primarily science-fiction (and I wouldn’t necessarily disagree), but Alien is one terrifying horror movie from beginning to end.

Dawn of the Dead (1978)

I’ve already written about how much I love this film here. For me, it was the granddaddy of zombie movies because it’s the one I saw first. Tons followed but this is and always will be my favorite!

Halloween (1978)

Come on, how could this not be on anyone’s list? It’s the name of the holiday for God’s sake! Arguably the best slasher movie ever (though Black Christmas is a close second), the original Halloween still remains terrifying thanks to its slow build and creepy atmosphere. Before Michael Myers became an unstoppable supernatural juggernaut in later insallments, he was still merely a psycho bent on finishing the job he started 15 years before.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)

The most terrifying thing is losing your humanity, your sense of self, and the remake of the 1956 science fiction classic really makes that idea a frightening reality. Taking it up a notch from the original, the 1978 version is filled with a horrifying sense of dread from beginning to end with a twist ending that still makes a viewer jump.

Phantasm (1979)

Dear lord, I almost soiled my pants the first time I saw this film. Filled with countless “WTF?” moments, Phantasm is like a nightmare you’ve had after combining several different spicy foods and downing it all with a beer milkshake. And it’s one hell of a fun ride! This is the type of movie that could only be made in the 70s and not be considered bizarre. The three (and soon to be four) sequels were fun but nothing beats the original.

Rosemary’s Baby (1968)

Who or what is trying to take Rosemary’s Baby? Is Rosemary Woodhouse slowly going out of her mind or is there a sinister plot by Satan worshipers to take her child away? One of the ultimate slow burns in the horror genre, this movie winds the viewer up tighter and tighter until the explosive ending. Still effective today thanks to a conspiracy plot and demonic overtones.

The Exorcist (1973)

Probably the only film that has made me physically ill (thanks to the spinal tap scene–I hate needles), The Exorcist is one of two films on my list (the other being Rosemary’s Baby) that is almost completely faithful to its source material. Both books the films were based upon are nearly identical to the final product and equally as terrifying. I prefer the original version over the “version you’ve never seen” mainly due to the fact that while you know damn well little Regan is possessed by the devil, there are times when you think she might be suffering from some psychotic disorder (the extended film features the unnecessary “spider walk” sequence that seems a bit over the top).

The Shining (1980)

I’m a huge Stephen King fan and I’m well aware that he despises the adaption, but this is one hell of a scary movie. Though Kubrick jettisons much of the source material, he injects the weirdest of images into The Shining (the twins in the hallway, the guy in a dog outfit bent over a man in a tux) that you can’t help but be creeped out. This movie makes me leery of being trapped with anyone in a snowstorm, haunted hotel notwithstanding.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

I first saw this right before going to see its 1986 sequel and it unnerved me. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre plays like a documentary and its disturbing tale of a cannibal family preying on unsuspecting travelers made my skin crawl (in a good way because I still went to see part 2 and enjoyed that as well). I never saw the remake because nothing can top the original.

The Thing (1982)

On most days, I’ll downright admit to this being my favorite for several reasons. First of all, like Invasion of the Body Snatchers, it deals with the idea of losing one’s humanity, of having emotion and feeling stripped away until you’re an empty, alien husk. Second of all, it’s set in a great location (similar to The Shining) where any notion of outside help is a futile one. Third, it has the elements of a great slasher film (like Halloween) where the characters are eliminated one by one. Finally, The Thing still has, hands down, the best special effects of any movie I’ve ever seen. Forget CGI. Watch this film if you want to see how real effects are supposed to look.

In the end, any list of anyone’s favorite “anything” is bound to be based solely on an individual taste and preference. Your list is undoubtedly different than mine and that’s okay. It’s obvious that the list above is based upon films that scared me when I was younger so more modern horror films didn’t make the cut. That’s not to say I don’t enjoy movies like 2005’s The Descent, 1935’s The Bride of Frankenstein, 1996’s Scream, 2013’s The Conjuring, or literally hundreds of others. I do and those would also be on an extended list.

But I only have room for ten. Hope you enjoy them as much as I do!

Happy Halloween!

Review: Creepshow (1982)

An homage to the old EC horror comics of the 1950s, Creepshow features five short, terrifying tales courtesy of director George Romero (Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead), author Stephen King (IT, The Stand, ‘Salem’s Lot) and special effects master Tom Savini (Friday the 13th, Dawn of the Dead).

Creepshow‘s tagline, “The most fun you’ll ever have being scared” is pretty apt. Thanks to the seamless combination of dark humor and grisly, visceral horror, Creepshow is arguably the most complete horror anthology film ever made. From the beginning to the end of the disturbing wraparound tale that bookends the film (featuring Night of the Creeps‘ Tom Atkins as well as King’s son, Heart Shaped Box‘s author Joe Hill) and throughout each short, Creepshow doesn’t waste a single frame.

It’s truly difficult to single out any particular story as being the strongest (or weakest, for that matter) as each offers a frightfully terrific yarn to spin.

In “Father’s Day”, family patriarch Nathan Grantham, long dead and buried, returns from the grave to see if he can get a father’s day cake from his descendants which include Bedelia, his tormented daughter (and murderer).

“The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill” finds the titular backwoods simpleton (played by King) discovering a meteorite whose internal substance has a long lasting effect on his mental and physical state.

Leslie Nielsen (Airplane, Naked Gun) stars as a cuckolded husband who exacts revenge on his wife (Gaylen Ross, Dawn of the Dead) and her lover (Ted Danson, Cheers, Fargo) by burying them up to their necks in the beach’s sand, telling them that they have a slim chance of survival, only if they can hold their breath. In “Something to Tide You Over’, that’s just the beginning!

“The Crate” houses something long undiscovered under the stairs of a college building–and for good reason, because what’s inside poses problems (and maybe even some solutions) for college professors Fritz Weaver and Hal Holbrook.

Ruthless businessman and germophobe Upson Pratt has a special surprise awaiting him after berating employees and being responsible for a man’s death courtesy of some unwanted insects in “They’re Creeping Up On You”.

Though I didn’t grow up on the EC comics from the 1950s, I did love the similar offerings by DC Comics in the 1970s like House of Mystery and House of Secrets which also featured supernatural and horrific short stories. Combine my affinity for those comic books, the horror genre, and the creative force behind the film, and Creepshow was an immediate sell for me. I was even fortunate enough to attend the Pittsburgh premiere of the film at the old Showcase Cinemas East in Monroeville, PA, located a stone’s throw from the mall where Dawn of the Dead was shot. Though King wasn’t in attendance, I did get to meet both Savini and Romero, both of whom I’ve crossed paths with a few times over the last 30 years. They were and remain incredibly nice and gracious guys!

I still have the autograph over 30 years later.

It had been years since I saw Creepshow but it holds up better than ever, especially if you love some genuinely scary tales and the blackest of humor. I’m not sure why there’s never a lot of chatter about this film, particularly around Halloween, but those who love anthologies like Trick ‘R Treat, Tales of Halloween or the V/H/S films should check out Creepshow because they’ll be far from disappointed.

Creepshow grade: A+

Review: The Children (1980)

“She’s always lurking around the house.”

I’m not sure if the parenting skills of the adults in The Children were representative of the late 1970s, but none of these people seemed to give two shits about their kids. Perhaps I missed something, because I was just slightly older than most of the titular characters when I first saw this and I don’t recall my family treating me as if I were little more than an annoyance.

Then again, I also viewed The Children through somewhat rose colored glasses, so I could be wrong.

Until I watched it again the other night, it had been over 30 years since I last saw The Children. I didn’t get to see the theatrical release way back when; instead, I happened to catch it courtesy of WOR-TV’s programming as a Saturday matinee.  I remembered it as being a bit on the eerie side but I was slightly more innocent and impressionable, though not as much as the kids in this clip.

As a brief side note, I really miss trailers like that. They were quick, told you all you needed to know and that was it. And the voiceovers were always somewhat creepy. It could have been the worst movie in the world but words uttered by that voice (was it Don LaFontaine?) would really make you want to see it.

Anyway, the premise is pretty simple: kids on a school bus pass through a toxic cloud and become zombie-like creatures who horribly burn and kill anything they touch…mostly their idiot parents. Then, of course, a few of the adults get wise (though it does take them a long time) and set out to destroy the kids. That’s the tale in a nutshell.

The Children is in no way as fun as my memory served, but it is an entertaining little low budget film with some decent makeup work and scary images of the kids stalking the adults. The film was reissued in 2005 and distributed on DVD by Troma Entertainment (responsible for gems like The Toxic Avenger, Class of Nuke ‘Em High and many more). To be honest, though the film is digitally transferred from one of the remaining prints, it still retains the scratches and jump cuts, looking like a typical low budget “grindhouse” film. Most viewers might find that offputting, but I think it’s endearing. By not cleaning it up and transferring it warts and all, it enables people to see it the way it was meant to be seen.

My wife had a lot of questions about why certain things happened or didn’t. Why did the kids turn evil? What was the deal with the girl playing the piano (they drew attention to her then she reappeared later, albeit briefly)? Did anyone work in this town? Why didn’t the cloud affect adults and only kids?

I told her that it’s The Children and it’s best not to think about it. Just sit back and enjoy the ridiculousness of it all, to relish the days when movies made no sense and you appreciated them for the sheer goofiness films like The Children had to offer. I almost wish the movie would have found new life via something like RiffTrax or local midnight movie viewings. Until then, I’ll have to pass on my copy to keep the story and the spark alive.

The Children grade: C+

Review: Lifeforce (1985)

While watching Lifeforce, I couldn’t help thinking about how many possibilities were squandered, not to mention the talent involved. Director Tobe Hooper is responsible for classics like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and its sequel (both of which I loved in different ways), Poltergeist, and the often chilling made for TV adaptation of Stephen King’s ‘Salem’s Lot. Co-writer Dan O’Bannon was one of the scribes on 1979’s Alien and wrote and directed the 1985 horror classic Return of the Living Dead. Add special effects by John Dykstra and music by Henry Mancini to that combo and it should have been the recipe for a sci-fi/horror classic.

So why did Lifeforce go so horribly wrong in so many ways?

As the film opens, a joint expedition of British and American astronauts aboard the space shuttle Churchill discovers an alien vessel hiding within Halley’s Comet. When a small group led by Colonel Carlsen (Steve Railsback) enters the ship, they find bat-like creatures drained of all bodily fluids as well as three perfectly preserved naked humanoid bodies in suspended animation. The crew remove one of the creatures and the three bodies and take them back to the ship before returning to Earth.

Mission control loses contact with the ship, sends another to investigate, and are shocked to discover a lifeless crew presumably killed by a fire that raged throughout the Churchill. However, the three bodies (one female, two male) are found intact and taken to a space research center in London. The female (Mathilda May) awakens and siphons the “lifeforce” out of a guard as well as some energy from one of the doctors before escaping into the city where she proceeds to leave bodies in her wake. Anyone who has had their “lifeforce” drained becomes a dried husk that eventually reanimates and, in turn, attempts to feed to infuse new life into themselves, much as a legendary vampire would. If they fail, they explode into dust.

Colonel Carlsen is found alive in an escape pod and teams up with SAS Colonel Caine (Peter Firth) to destroy the vampire like creatures before they decimate all of London and then the rest of the world.

And this is where the tale begins to break down. Suddenly the female vampire can shape-shift, the victims act more like zombies than vampires and all logic pretty much goes out the window. Carlsen shares a psychic bond with the female vampire (because, hey, that works when the actual plot runs into a jam) and the “lifeforce” of humans become souls that are harvested to the ship.

Lifeforce begins well enough with some really sharp special effects that look gorgeous in high definition (I happened to catch it on the MGMHD network where, in the past few months, I’ve found more than a few gems from the studio’s huge library), but degenerates into a near convoluted mess as it progresses. The film lacks an identity because it tries to involve too many elements from different genres. While it should be a pretty straightforward sci-fi/horror flick, Lifeforce adds dashes of action, romance and a bit of metaphysics and religion into the mix.

Can all of that work? Certainly, if done correctly. I’d even go so far as to recommend remaking this movie with a modern view. However, Lifeforce in its 1985 incarnation is akin to one of those large pizza chains who try to churn out one gimmicky pizza after another to keep people interested instead of just trying to make a damned good, simple pie.

Lifeforce grade: D+

Review: Dead Snow 2: Red vs Dead (2014)

What do the creatures want?–Daniel

Revenge.–Martin

Picking up exactly where the first Dead Snow left off, Dead Snow 2: Red vs Dead finds Martin (Vegar Hoel) fending off the Nazi zombie attack while trying to flee the scene in a car. Trying to get the remaining gold coin that Martin inadvertently left in his pocket, the zombie leader, Herzog (Orjan Gamst), hangs on as Martin speeds away. When Martin brushes his car against a passing truck, Herzog’s arm is severed while the rest of his body falls to the ground. Later, after Martin is found by authorities who suspect him in the deaths of his friends, he is chained to a hospital bed with the arm found in his car reattached–Herzog’s arm.

Meanwhile, although the Nazi zombie army has recovered all of its gold, they now have their sights set on a new mission–to follow an order given to them by Hitler long ago and decimate the population of a local town responsible for turning the Nazis back in World War II. To stop them, Martin enlists the aid of an American “zombie squad” consisting of geeks like Daniel (Martin Starr), Monica (Jocelyn DeBoer) and Blake (Ingrid Haas) as well as a surprise ally–a long dead Russian army hellbent on destroying Herzog’s ever growing force.

Dead Snow 2: Red vs Dead is completely insane, albeit in a great way. It’s highly reminiscent of balls to the wall horror comedies like Army of Darkness and Shaun of the Dead, but carves out its own niche within the genre as a genuinely gristly, funny film. To be honest, if you find yourself unable to suspend disbelief, Dead Snow 2: Red vs Dead probably isn’t for you. Not only does the sequel throw in a bizarre plot twist of a magical method of raising the dead, but the inane conversations among the local police force about translating seagull conversations echo sparkling idle chatter in the vein of Monty Python’s best dialogue and may leave those who fail to appreciate dark humor scratching their heads.

The first Dead Snow began my 31 Days of Halloween marathon back in October and I enjoyed it but the sequel really takes it up several notches by upping the gore factor in addition to ratcheting up the belly laughs. Admittedly, I didn’t have much faith in a sequel, but Dead Snow 2: Red vs Dead was a very pleasant surprise and makes me wish all sequels could have the spirit and energy that this one did.

You can snag a copy of Dead Snow 2: Red vs Dead on Amazon or stream it on Netflix.

Dead Snow 2: Red vs Dead grade: A

Review: Sugar Hill (1974)

“I just don’t want anything happening to my man.”–“Sugar” Hill

“Nothin’ gonna happen. Nothin’ gonna happen, Sugar.”–Langston

With this kind of dialogue occurring moments after a stirring rendition of “Supernatural Voodoo Woman”, you know that something is damn well going to happen!

After thugs representing a criminal named Morgan (Robert Quarry, Count Yorga, Vampire) threaten Langston (Larry Don Johnson), then attack him outside of his nightclub–all of the thugs wearing stockings on their faces yet otherwise totally recognizable from moments before I might add–they leave him dead in the parking lot. Langston’s girlfriend, Diana “Sugar” Hill (Marki Bey), vows revenge on Morgan and his gang by seeking out some good old fashioned voodoo justice courtesy of friends Mama Maitresse (Zara Cully, The Jeffersons) and Baron Samedi (Don Pedro Colley, Beneath the Planet of the Apes).

If you can’t figure out what happens next, you’re just not ready for Sugar Hill!

There’s no way in hell a movie like Sugar Hill would fly today, unless it was done as a parody similar to I’m Gonna Git You Sucka or Hollywood Shuffle. It’s purely a product of the seventies when you couldn’t swing a dead cat without hitting some sort of weird exploitation film (with Sugar Hill firmly falling under the subgenre of “Blaxpoitation“). The movie has rampant use of unflattering dialogue and scenes that are demeaning, particularly to African-Americans. However, Sugar Hill is also primarily targeted to that audience mostly because it’s meant to be a revenge film against the ruthless, powerful white men who constantly underestimate and undermine the black characters. Morgan and his gang are despicable people who more than deserve their comeuppance and are systematically dispatched by pretty imaginative methods thanks to the long dead Haitian zombies.

For as silly as it is, Sugar Hill isn’t without its charms. Don Pedro Colley is gloriously over the top as voodoo priest Baron Samedi and easily the best thing about the film. It’s also nice to see the movie hearken back to the original use of a zombie army where they are used more as mindless dead walkers under someone’s control rather than flesh eating ghouls made popular by 1968’s Night of the Living Dead.

Would I recommend Sugar Hill? Absolutely! I’ve always been a fan of films of the seventies, regardless of the genre, and Sugar Hill would work as part of an entertaining double feature alongside another campy zombie film like Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things or, even better, paired with the fantastic Blacula. It’s by no means a great film but I believe almost every movie can be enjoyed if you take it at face value. Sugar Hill isn’t meant to be a meaningful work of art, just a rollicking good piece of exploitation that can help you pass the time while putting a smile on your face.

Sugar Hill is available on DVD from Amazon.

Sugar Hill grade: C

Review: Horror Express (1972)

While on an expedition in Manchuria, anthropologist Alexander Saxton (Christopher Lee, Horror of Dracula) discovers the frozen remains of what he believes to be a missing link in the evolution of humanity. After packing up the crate containing the creature, Saxton stashes it on the Trans-Siberian Express and travels from Shanghai to Moscow in the hopes of further examining the rare archaeological find upon his return. On board with him as his compartment mate is colleague Dr. Wells (Peter Cushing, Torture Garden) who is also eager to get a glimpse at the specimen. Before the train leaves the station, a thief attempts to break into Saxton’s crate but is killed, his eyes glazed over milky white, leading a local monk to proclaim the contents evil. Is he right? Of course he is. After all, the film is entitled Horror Express.

It’s probably been a good 30 years since I last watched Horror Express which, as I recall, was a somewhat regular staple on the old WOR-TV Superstation. Back then, it scared the bejesus out of me. Now? Well, it’s certainly not the scarefest I remember, but it’s still one hell of a fun little movie.

What I wasn’t aware of at the time is that Horror Express is based on the  John W. Campbell novella, “Who Goes There?”, a significant work in the sci-fi horror genre that inspired 1951’s The Thing From Another World, John Carpenter’s 1982 remake simply titled The Thing (one of my top 5 all time horror films) and even 1979’s Alien (screenwriter Dan O’Bannon claims he used the films based on the novella as inspiration). To be honest, it had been so long since I’d seen it that I’d forgotten the creature isn’t just a mindless beast with the power to kill just by staring into the eyes of its prey–it’s an intelligent being that’s able to use the bodies of those it claims to mimic them. The creature leaves the victim with a smooth brain, thereby stealing the intelligence and memory of whomever it kills and using the knowledge and information to its advantage. As an added bonus, it can reanimate those it kills, using them as a zombie army when necessary.

To modern audiences, Horror Express probably isn’t going to be all that appealing unless you’re a film buff or a die hard horror fan. But it does have a lot more charm than expected. Not only does it re-team genre veterans Lee and Cushing, but it also features a brief appearance by Telly Savalas (Kojak) as Captain Kazan, a zealous Cossack searching for smuggled rebels aboard the train.

Many would probably hastily dismiss Horror Express upon first glance because both the title and poster make it appear as if it’s a rather cheesy entry into the horror genre. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. Obviously there’s no way it could compare to modern day horror films because of the lack of quality special effects, but that shouldn’t rule it out as an option for anyone when searching for something fun to watch. It’s pretty decently paced and rather well directed and acted and I’m not certain as to why the film doesn’t receive more exposure.

Horror Express, like The Monster Club, will always hold a special place in my heart because I enjoyed them both so much when I was young. That said, I never completely allow nostalgia to cloud my opinions; rather, I take the films at face value, considering when they were made, what purpose they served at the time of release, and if they stand the test of time. Horror Express certainly holds up relatively well, is deserving of attention and more than worth your time, especially as part of a double feature with one of the films mentioned above. You can pick up a Blu-Ray copy of the film at Amazon.

Horror Express grade: B+

Review: Deathdream (aka Dead of Night) (1972)

As Andy Brooks (Richard Backus) is shot dead in Vietnam, his mother, Christine (Lynn Carlin), makes a fateful wish that he’ll eventually return home to his family alive. Andy does indeed return, though he’s vastly different than the man who went to war. He’s become something…well…different.

If you watched the trailer, you’ll notice Deathdream was directed by Bob Clark, responsible (and arguably best known) for the beloved A Christmas Story which is seen annually in a 24 hour loop from Christmas Eve through Christmas night. However, prior to that, Clark directed diverse films such as the first two Porky’s installments, the excellent Sherlock Holmes tale, Murder by Decree, and horror films cult (Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things) and classic (the truly creepy Black Christmas). Deathdream, shot in 1972 but not released in the U.S. until 1974, was probably the weakest of the three he helmed.

Taking obvious inspiration from W.W. Jacobs’ terrifying classic short story, The Monkey’s Paw, Deathdream is an overt commentary on the Vietnam War and the longing of families for their young sons to return home safely. After Andy begins to exhibit strange behavior, his mother refuses to acknowledge the difference in his demeanor. His father Charles (John Marley), however, slowly becomes aware that Andy is, at the very least, disturbed as he pieces together clues that lead to Andy being a deranged killer. He has no idea exactly what Andy is or how his son spends his late nights away from home, but he realizes that it’s nothing anyone would consider normal.

Deathdream is unfortunately more melodrama than horror, at least for the majority of the film. There are flashes of brilliance here and there which would later come to full fruition with Black Christmas, a movie I would easily place in my top 10 horror films of all time. Deathdream is too languid in places, causing the story to plod along even though the run time is a scant 88 minutes. That said, it’s an interesting watch if just to see an early work of Clark, a loose and twisted adaptation of an amazing short story, and one of the first films featuring the astounding makeup work of Pittsburgh native Tom Savini (whose ghoulish makeup on the decaying Andy would later be echoed in Dawn of the Dead when Roger becomes a zombie).

Pair Deathdream with Clark’s Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things for a creepy double feature. Just be warned that the horror won’t come until very late in each film but it’s worth the wait.

Deathdream grade: C-

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Review: The Walking Dead – “Coda” S05,E08

I really wanted to write this last night. I tried, but the words wouldn’t come, at least not how I wanted them to. And, at this point, you’re probably thinking that it was because The Walking Dead killed off a major character and I was upset.

You’d be wrong, of course.

“Coda”, The Walking Dead‘s mid-season finale, was a pretty solid episode, delivering many of the elements that made season five the strongest thus far in the series. In the end, though, it fell flat for me, failing to elicit much emotion whatsoever.

Oh I know. I can hear people crying out now that I’m callous. How can I not be moved by the death of a character we’ve come to know over the last few years? I just wasn’t, mainly because the whole storyline beginning with my least favorite episode of the season, “Slabtown“, was just flat throughout, save for some terrific moments between Beth (Emily Kinney) and Noah (Tyler James Williams).

“Coda” begins well enough with a tense scene featuring Rick (Andrew Lincoln) running down Bob (Maximiliano Hernandez) as he tries to escape and make his way back to the hospital. It’s a well done scene because it displays how Rick has changed, preferring to use violence when necessary to help him and his group survive.

The scenes with Gabriel (Seth Gilliam) making his way back to the church are also executed well, even though I wanted to scream at him for being a complete idiot, endangering the lives of others in the process. The best thing to come out of that church sequence was that we got to see Michonne (Danai Gurira) slice and dice some walkers again as well as much of the group reconnect.

But I think everyone knew from the moment the group hatched a plan to rescue Beth that something would go awry. It was only a matter of time before the group experienced another casualty and a mid-season finale is the second best place to bump someone off (a finale being the most ideal). The only question was which character was going to be sacrificed?

If you’re reading this, you’re fully aware that Beth met her untimely demise at the hands of Dawn (Christine Woods), who reacted instinctively and shot Beth in the head when Beth stabbed her with the pair of scissors she’d tucked away in the cast on her arm. Honestly, when I saw Beth take those scissors, I knew her fate was sealed.

And yes, it is sad that Beth’s dead because Emily Kinney did some really fine work this season. It’s too bad she was saddled with that terrible story filled with stock characters and an overly familiar situation where everyone’s a monstrous human being.

Let’s be honest. The whole hospital storyline was pretty standard and, at the same time, manipulative. It was all designed to show how Beth’s worldview changed because humans that aren’t part of our main group are nothing more than bastards, doing whatever it takes to live. Most, if not all, of the characters in the hospital setting were one note, failing to connect with viewers on any level. That’s not the fault of the actors because I’ve seen Woods in shows like Hello Ladies and she’s talented. Here, it was almost painful to listen to the patented dialogue coming out of her, though she did the best she could with the role.

The writers obviously wanted us to sympathize with Dawn and others in the hospital to some degree but that effort was a resounding failure. There simply wasn’t enough time to establish that setting within the confines of eight episodes (fewer if you consider that “Slabtown” didn’t arrive until the fourth installment this year) and they never seemed more than caricatures, existing only as a plot device to lead to the episode’s final moments.

Both Beth and Emily Kinney deserved better. In fact, it would have been more interesting to explore the dynamic between Beth and Darryl (Norman Reedus) now that she’s changed from the time they’d spent together on the road. Even better, she could have been a loose cannon, spiraling even farther downward and allowing Kinney to push her acting abilities to the limit. It would have been fun to see her paired with either Darryl or Rick and show the contrast (with Darryl) or similarities (with Rick) of becoming more savage, a complete 180 from the innocent girl she used to be.

Instead, the writers took the easy way out, opting to  create a big moment while sacrificing what could have become a strong element to the series.

Where does The Walking Dead go from here? Who knows? Though I applaud The Walking Dead for the self-contained half season, many of the stories they introduced have come to an end with a whimper more than a bang (no pun intended for Beth’s final scene). The trip to DC ended leaving that group with nothing to do and the boring hospital narrative ended in too obvious a manner.

I really wanted to like “Coda”. Again, there were elements about it that maintained the overall strengths the series exhibited this season. But the writers have to learn to tell a compelling long narrative without making it lengthy. The Terminus storyline worked well because we were in and out. It gave the characters a purpose to propel the tale forward and had a satisfactory ending before wearing out its welcome. I’m hoping we see more of that in the future.

Anyway, the series will return in February. I’m not certain as to whether I’ll still be reviewing it on a weekly basis as I’m possibly moving on to other projects but time will tell. Have a great mid-season break everyone!

The Walking Dead – “Coda” grade: B-

Review: The Walking Dead – “Crossed” S05,E07

“Crossed” isn’t the least effective season five episode of The Walking Dead (that honor still goes to “Slabtown“), but it’s kind of a letdown after last week’s amazing “Consumed“.

The problem with “Crossed” is that it lacks focus, trying too hard to catch us up with our fragmented band of heroes and, as a result, the episode feels too disjointed. There are four different stories going on, but the only one that really gives us any forward momentum features Rick (Andrew Lincoln) and his small group executing their plan to rescue Beth (Emily Kinney) and Carol (Melissa McBride).

Rick wants to go in guns blazing, but Tyreese (Chad L. Coleman) suggests they take a few officers as hostages so that they can peacefully resolve the situation and trade the lives of the officers for their friends. To Rick’s dismay, everyone agrees with Tyreese. Unfortunately, the best laid plans go awry and a shootout ensues. The group manages to get the upper hand and take three officers hostage, one of which agrees to help them negotiate with Dawn (Christine Woods). But, like most people in the post-apocalyptic world, he’s apparently not as trustworthy as he seems.

Meanwhile, back at the fire truck, Abraham (Michael Cudlitz) is still kneeling and reeling after clocking Eugene (Josh McDermitt) in the face, trying to decide if he wants to keep on going. When he looks as if he’s about to lose it, Maggie (Lauren Cohan) puts things back in perspective when she introduces him to the barrel of her gun. Glenn (Steven Yeun), Tara (Alanna Masterson), and Rosita (Christian Serratos) forage for supplies and visit the local fishing hole for some food.

At the hospital, Beth tries to save Carol after Dawn agrees to terminate her life support. However, Dawn gives her an opportunity to save her friend by giving her the key to the drug cabinet and Beth injects some drugs into Carol’s IV. Can Dawn be trusted? Probably not but we’ll see next episode.

Finally, Carl (Chandler Riggs) and Michonne (Danai Gurira) barricade themselves in the church along with the baby and Father Gabriel (Seth Gilliam), the latter of which uses his new machete to pry up floorboards in the office and sneak away underneath the building.

It’s not that any of the stories are bad. It’s just that the episode bounces from one to another rather abruptly for any to be truly effective. The whole DC trip has resolved itself so instead of focusing on that specific group chatting, it would have been wise to get them moving again, doing anything instead of hanging out on the road. I’m not really certain as to why that story was shoehorned into this hour, but it really doesn’t work in terms of the scope of the episode.

The events at the hospital were necessary and might have seemed a little more interesting had that not been broken up by taking us away to the other two stories. The Gabriel story might also have worked but maybe that would have been better applied to the beginning of the mid-season finale.

Anyway, I hope that future episodes that try to work on several stories at once are a little more successful because “Crossed” missed the mark. However, I see this episode as doing little more than putting the necessary pieces into place for something larger next week so a minor misstep can be forgiven.

The Walking Dead – “Crossed” grade: B-