“She’s always lurking around the house.”
I’m not sure if the parenting skills of the adults in The Children were representative of the late 1970s, but none of these people seemed to give two shits about their kids. Perhaps I missed something, because I was just slightly older than most of the titular characters when I first saw this and I don’t recall my family treating me as if I were little more than an annoyance.
Then again, I also viewed The Children through somewhat rose colored glasses, so I could be wrong.
Until I watched it again the other night, it had been over 30 years since I last saw The Children. I didn’t get to see the theatrical release way back when; instead, I happened to catch it courtesy of WOR-TV’s programming as a Saturday matinee. I remembered it as being a bit on the eerie side but I was slightly more innocent and impressionable, though not as much as the kids in this clip.
As a brief side note, I really miss trailers like that. They were quick, told you all you needed to know and that was it. And the voiceovers were always somewhat creepy. It could have been the worst movie in the world but words uttered by that voice (was it Don LaFontaine?) would really make you want to see it.
Anyway, the premise is pretty simple: kids on a school bus pass through a toxic cloud and become zombie-like creatures who horribly burn and kill anything they touch…mostly their idiot parents. Then, of course, a few of the adults get wise (though it does take them a long time) and set out to destroy the kids. That’s the tale in a nutshell.
The Children is in no way as fun as my memory served, but it is an entertaining little low budget film with some decent makeup work and scary images of the kids stalking the adults. The film was reissued in 2005 and distributed on DVD by Troma Entertainment (responsible for gems like The Toxic Avenger, Class of Nuke ‘Em High and many more). To be honest, though the film is digitally transferred from one of the remaining prints, it still retains the scratches and jump cuts, looking like a typical low budget “grindhouse” film. Most viewers might find that offputting, but I think it’s endearing. By not cleaning it up and transferring it warts and all, it enables people to see it the way it was meant to be seen.
My wife had a lot of questions about why certain things happened or didn’t. Why did the kids turn evil? What was the deal with the girl playing the piano (they drew attention to her then she reappeared later, albeit briefly)? Did anyone work in this town? Why didn’t the cloud affect adults and only kids?
I told her that it’s The Children and it’s best not to think about it. Just sit back and enjoy the ridiculousness of it all, to relish the days when movies made no sense and you appreciated them for the sheer goofiness films like The Children had to offer. I almost wish the movie would have found new life via something like RiffTrax or local midnight movie viewings. Until then, I’ll have to pass on my copy to keep the story and the spark alive.
The Children grade: C+
This Old Haunted House 