There are two possible ways I might have enjoyed Night Train To Terror: if I had seen it with my high school friends back when it was released or if I was high as a kite right now.
Neither is the case.
As with The Haunted Dollhouse, the people behind Night Train To Terror took highly edited fragments of other films and used a wraparound story to “link” them. Oh, they also added in some terrible 80s music and dancing just for the hell of it (I’m absolutely certain some coked up wanna be “film” producers thought it would be an added selling point).
There was a time when I would have devoted more space to trash like this, but since the filmmakers didn’t give two shits, neither do I. Night Train To Terror is pure excrement.
Go ahead, watch it for yourself below. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. I made it to 50 minutes. I guarantee you that you probably won’t make it beyond 10. I applaud you if you decide to turn it off immediately after the end of the train whistle and go live your life.
Night Train To Terror rating: F
This Old Haunted House 