My Top 10 Horror Films

I honestly can’t say that I have one specific “favorite” horror film. Ask me on any given day and my answer will change because there are just far too many great ones from which to choose. That’s why it’s difficult to even pare it down to the ten below because I’m leaving off so many other classics (and non-classics that I just enjoy like 1999’s House on Haunted Hill and 2003’s Dead End).

What are the criteria I used to arrive at my top 10? Basically, I chose the ones that I’ll watch over and over again that scared the bejesus out of me when I first saw them (and, to be honest, a few still do). I also selected films that I feel are primarily horrific in nature and any other elements of the story are secondary (Aliens and Jaws are fantastic films but I see them as more action movies with strong horror elements underneath, so while they would be on a longer list, they don’t make the cut for the top ten).

Without further adieu, here are my top 10 in alphabetical order with a very brief description as to why:

Alien (1979)

The ultimate haunted house movie! After encountering a derelict spacecraft on an alien planet, the crew of the Nostromo find themselves being hunted one by one by a creature determined to kill them all. Sure, you can argue this is primarily science-fiction (and I wouldn’t necessarily disagree), but Alien is one terrifying horror movie from beginning to end.

Dawn of the Dead (1978)

I’ve already written about how much I love this film here. For me, it was the granddaddy of zombie movies because it’s the one I saw first. Tons followed but this is and always will be my favorite!

Halloween (1978)

Come on, how could this not be on anyone’s list? It’s the name of the holiday for God’s sake! Arguably the best slasher movie ever (though Black Christmas is a close second), the original Halloween still remains terrifying thanks to its slow build and creepy atmosphere. Before Michael Myers became an unstoppable supernatural juggernaut in later insallments, he was still merely a psycho bent on finishing the job he started 15 years before.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)

The most terrifying thing is losing your humanity, your sense of self, and the remake of the 1956 science fiction classic really makes that idea a frightening reality. Taking it up a notch from the original, the 1978 version is filled with a horrifying sense of dread from beginning to end with a twist ending that still makes a viewer jump.

Phantasm (1979)

Dear lord, I almost soiled my pants the first time I saw this film. Filled with countless “WTF?” moments, Phantasm is like a nightmare you’ve had after combining several different spicy foods and downing it all with a beer milkshake. And it’s one hell of a fun ride! This is the type of movie that could only be made in the 70s and not be considered bizarre. The three (and soon to be four) sequels were fun but nothing beats the original.

Rosemary’s Baby (1968)

Who or what is trying to take Rosemary’s Baby? Is Rosemary Woodhouse slowly going out of her mind or is there a sinister plot by Satan worshipers to take her child away? One of the ultimate slow burns in the horror genre, this movie winds the viewer up tighter and tighter until the explosive ending. Still effective today thanks to a conspiracy plot and demonic overtones.

The Exorcist (1973)

Probably the only film that has made me physically ill (thanks to the spinal tap scene–I hate needles), The Exorcist is one of two films on my list (the other being Rosemary’s Baby) that is almost completely faithful to its source material. Both books the films were based upon are nearly identical to the final product and equally as terrifying. I prefer the original version over the “version you’ve never seen” mainly due to the fact that while you know damn well little Regan is possessed by the devil, there are times when you think she might be suffering from some psychotic disorder (the extended film features the unnecessary “spider walk” sequence that seems a bit over the top).

The Shining (1980)

I’m a huge Stephen King fan and I’m well aware that he despises the adaption, but this is one hell of a scary movie. Though Kubrick jettisons much of the source material, he injects the weirdest of images into The Shining (the twins in the hallway, the guy in a dog outfit bent over a man in a tux) that you can’t help but be creeped out. This movie makes me leery of being trapped with anyone in a snowstorm, haunted hotel notwithstanding.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

I first saw this right before going to see its 1986 sequel and it unnerved me. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre plays like a documentary and its disturbing tale of a cannibal family preying on unsuspecting travelers made my skin crawl (in a good way because I still went to see part 2 and enjoyed that as well). I never saw the remake because nothing can top the original.

The Thing (1982)

On most days, I’ll downright admit to this being my favorite for several reasons. First of all, like Invasion of the Body Snatchers, it deals with the idea of losing one’s humanity, of having emotion and feeling stripped away until you’re an empty, alien husk. Second of all, it’s set in a great location (similar to The Shining) where any notion of outside help is a futile one. Third, it has the elements of a great slasher film (like Halloween) where the characters are eliminated one by one. Finally, The Thing still has, hands down, the best special effects of any movie I’ve ever seen. Forget CGI. Watch this film if you want to see how real effects are supposed to look.

In the end, any list of anyone’s favorite “anything” is bound to be based solely on an individual taste and preference. Your list is undoubtedly different than mine and that’s okay. It’s obvious that the list above is based upon films that scared me when I was younger so more modern horror films didn’t make the cut. That’s not to say I don’t enjoy movies like 2005’s The Descent, 1935’s The Bride of Frankenstein, 1996’s Scream, 2013’s The Conjuring, or literally hundreds of others. I do and those would also be on an extended list.

But I only have room for ten. Hope you enjoy them as much as I do!

Happy Halloween!

Review: Lifeforce (1985)

While watching Lifeforce, I couldn’t help thinking about how many possibilities were squandered, not to mention the talent involved. Director Tobe Hooper is responsible for classics like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and its sequel (both of which I loved in different ways), Poltergeist, and the often chilling made for TV adaptation of Stephen King’s ‘Salem’s Lot. Co-writer Dan O’Bannon was one of the scribes on 1979’s Alien and wrote and directed the 1985 horror classic Return of the Living Dead. Add special effects by John Dykstra and music by Henry Mancini to that combo and it should have been the recipe for a sci-fi/horror classic.

So why did Lifeforce go so horribly wrong in so many ways?

As the film opens, a joint expedition of British and American astronauts aboard the space shuttle Churchill discovers an alien vessel hiding within Halley’s Comet. When a small group led by Colonel Carlsen (Steve Railsback) enters the ship, they find bat-like creatures drained of all bodily fluids as well as three perfectly preserved naked humanoid bodies in suspended animation. The crew remove one of the creatures and the three bodies and take them back to the ship before returning to Earth.

Mission control loses contact with the ship, sends another to investigate, and are shocked to discover a lifeless crew presumably killed by a fire that raged throughout the Churchill. However, the three bodies (one female, two male) are found intact and taken to a space research center in London. The female (Mathilda May) awakens and siphons the “lifeforce” out of a guard as well as some energy from one of the doctors before escaping into the city where she proceeds to leave bodies in her wake. Anyone who has had their “lifeforce” drained becomes a dried husk that eventually reanimates and, in turn, attempts to feed to infuse new life into themselves, much as a legendary vampire would. If they fail, they explode into dust.

Colonel Carlsen is found alive in an escape pod and teams up with SAS Colonel Caine (Peter Firth) to destroy the vampire like creatures before they decimate all of London and then the rest of the world.

And this is where the tale begins to break down. Suddenly the female vampire can shape-shift, the victims act more like zombies than vampires and all logic pretty much goes out the window. Carlsen shares a psychic bond with the female vampire (because, hey, that works when the actual plot runs into a jam) and the “lifeforce” of humans become souls that are harvested to the ship.

Lifeforce begins well enough with some really sharp special effects that look gorgeous in high definition (I happened to catch it on the MGMHD network where, in the past few months, I’ve found more than a few gems from the studio’s huge library), but degenerates into a near convoluted mess as it progresses. The film lacks an identity because it tries to involve too many elements from different genres. While it should be a pretty straightforward sci-fi/horror flick, Lifeforce adds dashes of action, romance and a bit of metaphysics and religion into the mix.

Can all of that work? Certainly, if done correctly. I’d even go so far as to recommend remaking this movie with a modern view. However, Lifeforce in its 1985 incarnation is akin to one of those large pizza chains who try to churn out one gimmicky pizza after another to keep people interested instead of just trying to make a damned good, simple pie.

Lifeforce grade: D+

Review: Horror Express (1972)

While on an expedition in Manchuria, anthropologist Alexander Saxton (Christopher Lee, Horror of Dracula) discovers the frozen remains of what he believes to be a missing link in the evolution of humanity. After packing up the crate containing the creature, Saxton stashes it on the Trans-Siberian Express and travels from Shanghai to Moscow in the hopes of further examining the rare archaeological find upon his return. On board with him as his compartment mate is colleague Dr. Wells (Peter Cushing, Torture Garden) who is also eager to get a glimpse at the specimen. Before the train leaves the station, a thief attempts to break into Saxton’s crate but is killed, his eyes glazed over milky white, leading a local monk to proclaim the contents evil. Is he right? Of course he is. After all, the film is entitled Horror Express.

It’s probably been a good 30 years since I last watched Horror Express which, as I recall, was a somewhat regular staple on the old WOR-TV Superstation. Back then, it scared the bejesus out of me. Now? Well, it’s certainly not the scarefest I remember, but it’s still one hell of a fun little movie.

What I wasn’t aware of at the time is that Horror Express is based on the  John W. Campbell novella, “Who Goes There?”, a significant work in the sci-fi horror genre that inspired 1951’s The Thing From Another World, John Carpenter’s 1982 remake simply titled The Thing (one of my top 5 all time horror films) and even 1979’s Alien (screenwriter Dan O’Bannon claims he used the films based on the novella as inspiration). To be honest, it had been so long since I’d seen it that I’d forgotten the creature isn’t just a mindless beast with the power to kill just by staring into the eyes of its prey–it’s an intelligent being that’s able to use the bodies of those it claims to mimic them. The creature leaves the victim with a smooth brain, thereby stealing the intelligence and memory of whomever it kills and using the knowledge and information to its advantage. As an added bonus, it can reanimate those it kills, using them as a zombie army when necessary.

To modern audiences, Horror Express probably isn’t going to be all that appealing unless you’re a film buff or a die hard horror fan. But it does have a lot more charm than expected. Not only does it re-team genre veterans Lee and Cushing, but it also features a brief appearance by Telly Savalas (Kojak) as Captain Kazan, a zealous Cossack searching for smuggled rebels aboard the train.

Many would probably hastily dismiss Horror Express upon first glance because both the title and poster make it appear as if it’s a rather cheesy entry into the horror genre. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. Obviously there’s no way it could compare to modern day horror films because of the lack of quality special effects, but that shouldn’t rule it out as an option for anyone when searching for something fun to watch. It’s pretty decently paced and rather well directed and acted and I’m not certain as to why the film doesn’t receive more exposure.

Horror Express, like The Monster Club, will always hold a special place in my heart because I enjoyed them both so much when I was young. That said, I never completely allow nostalgia to cloud my opinions; rather, I take the films at face value, considering when they were made, what purpose they served at the time of release, and if they stand the test of time. Horror Express certainly holds up relatively well, is deserving of attention and more than worth your time, especially as part of a double feature with one of the films mentioned above. You can pick up a Blu-Ray copy of the film at Amazon.

Horror Express grade: B+