Review: Tales of Halloween (2015)

Tales of Halloween is the latest attempt to replicate both the cult and financial success horror anthology films like V/H/S, V/H/S 2, and Trick ‘r Treat have had in recent years. With ten loosely connected tales helmed by different directors, the entirety of Tales of Halloween takes place on one night in a small American town.

Tales of Halloween is often more fun that frightening which is kind of a welcome change for a genre film. If you’re looking for an old fashioned urban legend story, “Sweet Tooth” is right up your alley. How about an unstoppable serial killer with an alien thrown in? “Friday the 31st” is for you! And if you always wondered what the devil was up to on Halloween, “The Night Billy Raised Hell” will provide some answers.

Like any anthology, the stories are a bit uneven with the best (“The Ransom of Rusty Rex” and “Friday the 31st”) offering a nice mixture of humor and horror and the least successful (“The Weak and the Wicked” and “Ding Dong”) leaving one wonder what could have been had they been a little more developed story-wise.

There’s something for everyone in these ten tales so if you love Halloween, Tales of Halloween is a highly entertaining love letter to both the holiday and the horror genre. Cameos from horror actors (Cabin Fever‘s Cerina Vincent, From Beyond‘s Barbara Crampton) and directors (John Landis and Mick Garris) abound with the best turns being offered by The Rocky Horror Picture Show‘s Barry Bostwick, The Mist‘s Sam Witwer, and Landis. And there’s not one flaw among the directorial styles, even if some of the tales failed to ignite any enthusiasm within individual segments (one in particular being the visually stunning but ultimately underwhelming “Ding Dong” by Lucky McKee).

Tales of Halloween is solid overall and a welcome entry into any annual Halloween movie marathon and I know that I’m eagerly anticipating a follow up. More Tales of Halloween, anyone?

Tales of Halloween grade: B+

Review: Spider Baby or, The Maddest Story Ever Told (1967)

Oh Spider Baby, if there was any lingering doubt I wouldn’t love you, it was washed away when your theme song kicked in.

The orphaned Merrye children–Virginia (Jill Banner), Elizabeth (Beverly Washburn), and Ralph (Sid Haig, House of 1000 Corpses, The Devil’s Rejects)– live in a dilapidated mansion and are looked after by their guardian and family chauffeur, Bruno (Lon Chaney, Jr., The Wolf Man, Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein). The kids are afflicted with “Merrye syndrome”, a genetic disorder that causes them to regress emotionally and physically thanks to family inbreeding.

Though Bruno is loving toward the children, his authority over them is tenuous at best. Their condition causes them to deteriorate and they start to exhibit murderous tendencies. Virginia, the “Spider Baby”, enjoys trapping people in a “web” and then using butcher knives on them to sting her prey. Ralph is simple minded and lecherous, especially when an attractive female is around; he communicates only by grunts and groans. Elizabeth is the one usually put in charge of the others when Bruno runs an errand, but she’s just as demented as the others.

When two cousins, Peter (Quinn Redeker, whom I remember fondly as Alex Marshall on Days of our Lives) and Emily (Carol Ohmart) arrive along with a lawyer (Karl Schanzer) and his assistant (Mary Mitchel) to take control of the property, the children become even more unstable leading to even stronger murderous impulses.

Spider Baby is one hell of a good time and it’s easy to see the influence it had on House of 1000 Corpses and other genre films thanks to its combination of horror and very black comedy. Though it was released in the late 60s (but filmed in the early part of the decade and not distributed until later), it almost feels timeless.

Writer-director Jack Hill has created a classic that is as effective today as it was when released. I can imagine Spider Baby threw audiences for a loop back in ’67 and it might actually have the same effect on some today considering its morbid subject matter. The acting is first rate with all of the players contributing their own brand of oddball humor yet balancing it out with the right amount of dramatic weight to make the film as believable as possible.

Spider Baby has endured all of these years not only in the hearts of filmgoers, but also in various incarnations (as a stage show, for example) and rightly so. It’s a definite must see and highly recommended, especially as a double feature with The Rocky Horror Picture Show or one of Zombie’s films. It’s a perfect little film any time of the year, but might just be added to my permanent Halloween rotation in the future.

Spider Baby or, The Maddest Story Ever Told grade: A-

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Review: ‘The Abominable Dr. Phibes’ (1971)

 

The Abominable Dr. Phibes is a great Saturday afternoon movie.

What I mean by that is the film is one I more or less would have caught on Saturday afternoon TV back in the days before cable, when impressionable young kids had access to some of the greatest. most offbeat horror films of all time. Growing up in the late 70s and early 80s, I was able to see movies like Let’s Scare Jessica to Death, The Monster Club (reviewed here), Tourist Trap, and Theater of Blood (another Vincent Price classic) on both the local station, WPGH (now a fox affiliate) as well as Superstation WOR broadcast from Secaucus, New Jersey. However, The Abominable Dr. Phibes was not among the films I was fortunate to see back then.

As a result, it’s taken me around 40 years, but this afternoon found the perfect opportunity to spend a little time with the good doctor.

I’d always been under the impression that The Abominable Dr. Phibes was straight horror, but was pleasantly surprised to see dark humor interwoven with the scares. Of course, with this film, the word “scares” is used very loosely as the horrific elements are presented in a campy, over the top manner that probably wouldn’t have frightened me even as a preteen boy.

The story begins with the bizarre deaths of several prominent physicians, one of whom is shredded by bloodthirsty bats while another falls prey to having his head squeezed inside a frog’s mask at a masquerade party. The police investigation eventually leads them to discover all the doctors had ties to Dr. Vesalius (Joseph Cotton, Shadow of a Doubt), lead surgeon on a case involving Victoria Phibes, the wife of Dr. Anton Phibes, the former of which died on the operating table while the latter perished in a car accident en route to the hospital.

Or did he?

Turns out Dr. Phibes is alive, rather unwell, and out for vengeance. Phibes blames the surgeons for the death of his wife and sets out to eliminate those responsible (which include a nurse on duty that night) with inventive murders based on the Ten Plagues of Egypt (just because, ok?). Each person is taken out one by one with locusts, hail (rather creatively, mind you), and beasts (where a doctor is impaled by a brass statue and has to be unscrewed by the authorities in one of the film’s best and funniest sequences). And I’m certain it comes as no surprise to any viewer that one of the final attacks will come in the form of “death of the first born” and that Dr. Vesalius’s son will be the target. In the end, Vesalius races against the clock to save his son from being disfigured by acid while Phibes lives (dies?) to wreak havoc another day.

The Abominable Dr. Phibes reminds me a lot of Theater of Blood, a film I did see way back when and features a similar plotline (insane man wronged, kills victims in high concept manner). Both succeed because Price fully commits to the character and story, no matter how ridiculous the scene or dialogue might be, and that’s why he’s revered as one of the finest genre actors of all time. Cotton is above average in the role of main victim and Peter Jeffrey excels as Trout (or is it Pike?), the lead investigator.

While The Abominable Dr. Phibes is by no means a great horror film, its campiness makes it completely watchable and the film rightfully earns its place as a cult classic. If you’re looking for a nifty little movie marathon, it should be watched alongside Rocky Horror Picture Show and Phantom of the Paradise (if only because of Phibes’ mannequin band, the Clockwork Wizards, and the amount of time he spends jamming on his organ–pun totally intended).

I’m looking forward to Dr. Phibes Rises Again but hope it’s not another 40 years until I see it.

The Abominable Dr. Phibes grade: B-

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