Review: Lifeforce (1985)

While watching Lifeforce, I couldn’t help thinking about how many possibilities were squandered, not to mention the talent involved. Director Tobe Hooper is responsible for classics like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and its sequel (both of which I loved in different ways), Poltergeist, and the often chilling made for TV adaptation of Stephen King’s ‘Salem’s Lot. Co-writer Dan O’Bannon was one of the scribes on 1979’s Alien and wrote and directed the 1985 horror classic Return of the Living Dead. Add special effects by John Dykstra and music by Henry Mancini to that combo and it should have been the recipe for a sci-fi/horror classic.

So why did Lifeforce go so horribly wrong in so many ways?

As the film opens, a joint expedition of British and American astronauts aboard the space shuttle Churchill discovers an alien vessel hiding within Halley’s Comet. When a small group led by Colonel Carlsen (Steve Railsback) enters the ship, they find bat-like creatures drained of all bodily fluids as well as three perfectly preserved naked humanoid bodies in suspended animation. The crew remove one of the creatures and the three bodies and take them back to the ship before returning to Earth.

Mission control loses contact with the ship, sends another to investigate, and are shocked to discover a lifeless crew presumably killed by a fire that raged throughout the Churchill. However, the three bodies (one female, two male) are found intact and taken to a space research center in London. The female (Mathilda May) awakens and siphons the “lifeforce” out of a guard as well as some energy from one of the doctors before escaping into the city where she proceeds to leave bodies in her wake. Anyone who has had their “lifeforce” drained becomes a dried husk that eventually reanimates and, in turn, attempts to feed to infuse new life into themselves, much as a legendary vampire would. If they fail, they explode into dust.

Colonel Carlsen is found alive in an escape pod and teams up with SAS Colonel Caine (Peter Firth) to destroy the vampire like creatures before they decimate all of London and then the rest of the world.

And this is where the tale begins to break down. Suddenly the female vampire can shape-shift, the victims act more like zombies than vampires and all logic pretty much goes out the window. Carlsen shares a psychic bond with the female vampire (because, hey, that works when the actual plot runs into a jam) and the “lifeforce” of humans become souls that are harvested to the ship.

Lifeforce begins well enough with some really sharp special effects that look gorgeous in high definition (I happened to catch it on the MGMHD network where, in the past few months, I’ve found more than a few gems from the studio’s huge library), but degenerates into a near convoluted mess as it progresses. The film lacks an identity because it tries to involve too many elements from different genres. While it should be a pretty straightforward sci-fi/horror flick, Lifeforce adds dashes of action, romance and a bit of metaphysics and religion into the mix.

Can all of that work? Certainly, if done correctly. I’d even go so far as to recommend remaking this movie with a modern view. However, Lifeforce in its 1985 incarnation is akin to one of those large pizza chains who try to churn out one gimmicky pizza after another to keep people interested instead of just trying to make a damned good, simple pie.

Lifeforce grade: D+

Review: The Last House on Cemetery Lane (2015)

While searching through available horror films on Netflix, I stumbled across The Last House on Cemetery Lane and thought to myself “That’s a really cool title”. However, according to the Netflix algorithms, the site claimed that the best rating guess for me would be one star. They’ve been known to be wrong before and I always like to give movies a chance because there’s that rare instance they’re going to be off base.

Not this time. They were pretty much right on the ball.

When John Davies (Lee Bane) rents a country house from a realtor, he’s told at the last minute that the house is completely empty save for Agnes* (Vivien Bridson), an old blind woman that resides in the attic and keeps to herself. Soon after moving in, John begins to experience strange occurrences. Dolls move on their own, record players spin albums in the middle of the night, and he suffers from strange dreams.

*At several points, Bane’s accent makes it seem as if he’s calling her “Agnuts”, which made the experience of watching the movie slightly more entertaining because that’s how I kept referring to the character throughout the rest of the film.

The first thing I can tell you is that whomever cut that trailer should be paid handsomely for making it look even remotely interesting because you certainly won’t find any suspense whatsoever in this dud.

Writer/director/producer Andrew Jones has taken a tired premise that could still work in capable hands. However, the fact that The Last House on Cemetery Lane fails on nearly all levels is telling that the film is far from being in the hands of someone who knows what they’re doing. What follows is just a sampling of atrocities committed by Jones:

• Horrible pacing–there are scenes that seem to drag on forever. The Ouija board scene is one that loses whatever suspense it might have had the longer it progresses but it’s nowhere near as bad as the scene that follows where John finally meets Agnes. The former unfolds like a 30 second commercial in comparison to the latter which feels like a 22 episode season of a bad TV show.
• “Cutesy” camera angles that serve no purpose other than to look “cool” but, instead, are so jarring that they do little more than bewilder the viewer as to why that particular choice was made. Actors are shot from above and below for no apparent reason.
• An odd preoccupation with changing the focus within a shot that, if done right, is aesthetically pleasing. In this case, like the camera angles, it’s another distraction
• The use of slow motion at a point in the film where the action should be sped up to heighten suspense.
• An inordinate use of a heavy musical score that becomes comical as the film progresses.
• A musical montage ten minutes into the film focusing on a character we know almost nothing about and doesn’t shed any new light on them (probably just to use the theme song “Last House on the Lane” which is more apt as there’s no cemetery in the film)
• Inability to keep actors within a frame. For all of the fancy camerawork Jones attempts, you’d think the most basic one would be to place the camera where the actors would be the focus of the shot. Not in this case. You’ll often see them half in frame or worse.

One scene in particular stood out and that was the blatant ripoff of (though I’m sure it was meant to be an homage to) a late scene in the original Halloween, complete with a slight variation on John Carpenter’s classic theme and a seemingly dead body rising in the background. Again, done right, it would come off great. In this case…not so much.

If there’s one saving grace in The Last House on Cemetery Lane, it’s the acting. The cast Jones assembled have the chops to pull off the horror elements but the only problem is that they’re not given anything worthwhile to work with. They do their best to squeeze whatever they can from the material but as it’s very thin to begin with, there’s really not much they can do overall.

Out of curiosity, I took a peek at Jones’ credits and it seems as if he’s planning on churning out quite a few films over the course of 2015. It brought to mind the scene from 1994’s Ed Wood where Wood (Johnny Depp) excitedly tells the studio executive he has a whole slate of films planned and he just reels off one ridiculous title after another. I truly hope that Jones has a brighter career than Wood as a filmmaker but judging solely on The Last House on Cemetery Lane, I can’t honestly say I’d bet on that.

The Last House on Cemetery Lane grade: D-

My 31 Days of Halloween Retrospective

Each year, I always promised myself that I’d watch a horror movie a day and was never able to get around to it. (I’ve gotten to the age where my goals aren’t as lofty anymore, apparently.) Due to time constraints and other circumstances, the whole plan always fell apart and usually early on in the month (which was nice because then I didn’t have to watch everything go down the drain later on).

This year, I was finally able to complete my task. Not only was I able to watch one a day, but nearly all of them were films I had never seen before–the one lone exception was The Legend of Hell House, something I’d seen years ago, but had never viewed on Blu-Ray with additional special features.

Anyway, here’s the complete list of every film seen and reviewed (the grades I gave each are within the posting at the end of the review). They span nearly 100 years, from 1921 all the way up to 2014. Hopefully, there are a few that will catch your eye and that you’ll enjoy (or despise) as much as I did. Thanks to all of you who read and commented the past month. Who knows, maybe I’ll do it again next year.

Dead Snow (2009)

The Legend of Hell House (1973)

The Sacrament (2013)

The Stepford Wives (1975)

What Ever Happened To Baby Jane? (1962)

White Zombie (1932)

Dementia 13 (1963)

Zombie Strippers (2008)

Tentacles (1977)

Screamtime (1984)

Hatchet For The Honeymoon (1970)

Happy Birthday To Me (1981)

Blue Sunshine (1978)

The Haunted Dollhouse (aka DevilDolls) (2012)

Stake Land (2010)

The Phantom Carriage (1921)

The Hearse (1980)

Death Bed- The Bed That Eats (1977)

World War Z (2013)

Doc of the Dead (2014)

Mr. Sardonicus (1961)

Blacula (1972)

In The Mouth of Madness (1995)

The Psychopath (1966)

13 Sins (2014)

House of the Long Shadows (1983)

Spider Baby or, The Maddest Story Ever Told (1967)

All The Boys Love Mandy Lane (2006)

Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979)

Scarecrows (1988)

Torture Garden (1967)

 

Review: Torture Garden (1967)

 

“It will show you nothing but what is in your own heart.”–Dr. Diabolo

When I randomly selected Torture Garden as the final film in my 31 Days of Halloween movie marathon, how could I have known that it would come from the same team that created a movie I saw a week ago today (The Psychopath)?

Director Freddie Francis (Tales From The Crypt), writer Robert Bloch (Psycho), and producer Milton Subotsky (The Monster Club) came together again in 1967 to make the anthology film starring Burgess Meredith (The Twilight Zone, Batman) and Jack Palance (City Slickers, Shane).

Torture Garden follows the same basic structure as other Amicus anthologies such as The Vault of Horror, Tales From The Crypt, and From Beyond the Grave in that a mysterious main character allows several individuals to obtain a glimpse into their very often ominous futures. In this film we meet:

• A man who finds himself driven to murder by a mesmerizing, man-eating cat
• A Hollywood actress who will do anything to become one of the top 10 stars
• A famed pianist whose grand piano holds an evil sway over him
• An Edgar Allan Poe collector (Palance) who murders another collector (Peter Cushing) to gain access to his items and uncover dark secrets

None of the segments are particularly bad. However, none are particularly memorable either. They’re basically watered down morality tales you might find on TV shows like The Twilight Zone or Thriller (both of which were far better at executing this type of material).

If you’re looking for something to pass the time on a gloomy afternoon, you could do a lot worse than Torture Garden, but I would recommend checking out one of the later Amicus anthologies–they had a bit more flair and the twists were a little more creative. Seek this one out only for a rare villainous turn by Burgess Meredith, a great character actor whose performance always elevated any story.

Torture Garden grade: C

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Review: Screamtime (1984)

One of the things I really miss about growing up in the 80s is heading to the video store, grabbing some random VHS tape and having absolutely no idea what I’m in store for (which, to be honest, is basically how I discovered this film–it was the first 80s horror movie I came across while scanning Netflix–so I guess just the methods have changed but the final result is the same).

Strangely enough, Screamtime begins in a similar manner. Two guys with thick New York accents stroll into a video store, use the five finger discount to lift a few random movies, and then head over to a female friend’s apartment to watch them. The films they end up watching are all British (which I found a little odd) and we know this because, after the first movie ends, one guy says “These must be British movies. I can tell by the way they talk.”

Anyway, the films they steal comprise the majority of this anthology.

The first, entitled “That’s The Way To Do It”, revolves around a puppeteer with a nagging wife and stepson who want him to give up his trade because he can’t make a living off of it. Soon, the puppeteer’s family and those close to him start meeting with untimely demises.

Second in the lineup is “Dreamhouse” that tells the story of a wife who begins to experience deadly, vivid, murderous images in the new house into which she and her husband have just moved.

The third and final installment is “Do You Believe In Fairies?” about a young handyman who plots to steal the fortune of two elderly sisters that also happen to be descendants of a woman who once made a pact with fairies to protect the land.

I really love a good anthology, regardless of the quality of the film. From the 70s British films like Tales From the Crypt and From Beyond the Grave to Creepshow in the 80s and Trick ‘R Treat a few years back, anthology films can succeed wonderfully if each tale within the film is above average or superior. However, even if several of the segments fail, there’s always at least one story in the pack that can salvage the film.

In the case of Screamtime, the main problem is the weird wraparound film that centers the action in New York. The acting is downright terrible and the ending really makes almost no sense even if it does tie in to two of the short films.

The first and third segments are average at best, both having been done better in other horror movies. However, “That’s The Way To Do It” is slightly better in quality than “Do You Believe In Fairies?” because the latter relies a little too much on poor special effects and ridiculous gnome transformations (that you’ll just have to watch for yourself).

“Dreamhouse”, however, stands head and shoulders above the other two thanks to a pretty tense story and a killer twist ending that even surprised me. Apparently, the segment was used as the basis for Psychosis, a feature released in the US in 2011 starring Charisma Carpenter (Buffy, The Vampire Slayer, Angel).

If you’re looking for something to pass the time this Halloween, you can do a lot worse than Screamtime, but it’s not something you should go out of your way to watch.

Screamtime grade: C-

Review: The Legend of Hell House (1973)

Though I love nearly all types of films in the horror genre, my absolute favorite subgenre has to be ghost stories. Nothing sends a chill up my spine more than tales of the supernatural, the spirits of the dead walking among the living and, more often than not, seeking to do them harm.

Based on the novel Hell House by Richard Matheson (who also adapted the screenplay), The Legend of Hell House takes place at the infamous Belasco House, world renowned for being the “Mount Everest of haunted houses”. Hired by a millionaire to investigate and uncover proof of life after death, physicist Lionel Barrett (Clive Revill) leads a team including his wife Ann (Gayle Hunnicutt), mental medium Florence Tanner (Pamela Frankin), and physical medium Benjamin Franklin Fischer (Roddy McDowall)–who just happens to be the sole survivor of a previous expedition into the house–to determine whether the home is just filled with electromagnetic energy or something more sinister lurks within its walls.

Since it’s obvious going in that The Legend of Hell House is a supernatural thriller, I think we’re all well aware that the answer is the latter of the two, but that in no way subverts the suspense throughout the film.

In fact, The Legend of Hell House is an absolute gem with a constant sense of foreboding creeping into every frame. Director John Hough (Escape to Witch Mountain, Hammer’s House of Mystery and Suspense, Twins of Evil) has created a frightening, taut psychological ghost tale where none of the characters are safe. In just a matter of days, the Belasco house makes each of the investigators question their very sanity as they fall under its warped, violent spell.

I remember watching The Legend of Hell House on TV in the late 70s and it’s as terrifying now as it was back then. The recent issue on Blu-Ray from Scream Factory is a phenomenal transfer, offering a crisp picture and beautiful sound without losing the film’s spooky atmosphere and the 70s “feel” that made movies from that decade creepy and realistic.

The Blu-Ray also offers a nice, though not substantial, selection of extras such as an interview with director John Hough about both the film and his career, photo stills, the original trailer, radio spots and an audio commentary by actress Pamela Franklin.

As a further recommendation, I’d suggest watching this as the second half of a double feature with Robert Wise’s spectacular The Haunting as well as reading Matheson’s Hell House and Edward Lee’s Flesh Gothic, a different take on an evil house filled with debauchery.

The Legend of Hell House: A          Scream Factory Blu-Ray: A

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Review: Penny Dreadful – “Closer Than Sisters” S01, E05

“Letters I’ve written, never meaning to send.”

I couldn’t help thinking of this lyric from the Moody Blues’ “Nights In White Satin” as “Closer Than Sisters” came to an end. Vanessa Ives (Eva Green) has been penning letters to her onetime friend, Mina Murray (Olivia Llewellyn), but since the latter is missing, there’s nowhere to send them. As a result, they get stashed away in a wooden box, perhaps to be read someday. However, if the postscript Vanessa adds to her most recent letter is any indication, they may do little more than collect dust as time marches on.

“Closer Than Sisters” is meant to finally peel back the layers of the mysterious Vanessa Ives, detailing her journey from childhood to a time not long before we meet her in the season opener, “Night Work”. When we first see Vanessa, she’s a young girl, the best of friends with the Murray family who reside in the house right next to the Ives. Vanessa and Mina are inseparable and the two families are almost as close, sharing dinners and even more (for example, Malcolm shares Vanessa’s mother without her father’s knowledge as Vanessa discovers while wandering through the hedge maze and happens upon their passionate tryst).

Vanessa eventually changes as she grows older, delving into “mischief” like taking little things like a comb from Mina at first, then her fiance the night prior to his and Mina’s wedding. Obviously, this drives a huge wedge between them, but Vanessa can’t seem to help it, though she’s prayed. However, as Vanessa details in her letter, “God didn’t answer, but another did”.

Soon, Vanessa’s mental state rapidly deteriorates and she’s committed to an asylum where she’s drugged, gagged, hosed down, and even subjected to trepanning (i.e. the drilling of a hole in her skull) in an attempt to cure her. Eventually, she’s brought home to convalesce where she lays nearly unresponsive in her bed until Mina’s brother Peter pays her a visit to tell her he’s accompanying his father to Africa. She tells him he’s going to die there.

Shortly after Peter departs, Vanessa sees Malcolm sitting in a chair at the foot of her bed, but she is fully aware it’s something much, much darker assuming the guise of Sir Murray. With black eyes, he tells her “You could have shut the door anytime, you still can.” Rather than refusing his advances, she welcomes the darkness in. When her mother enters moments later, Vanessa is naked and in the throes of passion, thrusting her hips up and down in time with some unseen force. Vanessa’s milky white eyes are the last thing her mother ever sees before dropping dead to the floor.

When Mrs. Ives’ funeral has ended, Vanessa takes a walk on the beach and encounters Mina, who seems to forgive her at first before her eyes glow red and snarls that the master has taught her much. Vanessa visits Malcolm, telling him that Mina needs his help and stands at the door, asking him to invite her in as if she were a vampire.

“Closer Than Sisters” ends with Vanessa adding yet another letter to her collection, this one with a post script that tells Mina “I love you in a different way. I love you enough to kill you.”

Though I enjoyed “Closer Than Sisters” (largely due to the masterful performance from Eva Green who continues to shine brightly in the role of Vanessa Ives), I realized that Penny Dreadful has some structural problems in relation to the series as a whole.

“Closer Than Sisters” provides too much information, lingering on scenes when it should be moving a little faster. Part of this problem can be attributed to series creator and sole screenwriter, John Logan, who sometimes seems to be tailoring the show for an audience that existed a decade or so ago. Thanks to the second “golden age” of television which has brought us amazing, groundbreaking series like The Sopranos, Lost, Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones and countless others, TV viewers have become more savvy and are used to plots moving at a faster pace. Often times Penny Dreadful reminds me of a failed movie pitch that had a tighter plot which now needs to be stretched out not only over many episodes, but now many seasons (as it’s just been renewed for a second, not surprisingly). And in that regard, part of the blame can also go to Showtime who undoubtedly called for a certain amount of episodes for the season which, in turn, caused the story to be stretched out indefinitely.

Furthermore, when a series is dealing with multiple main characters, it’s to its advantage to weave different arcs together to create an overall theme of the episode. “Closer Than Sisters” might have benefited from a secondary tale of betrayal (perhaps with Chandler or Frankenstein) that served to complement or contrast that of Ives. Either that or this particular tale should have come a little earlier as Vanessa is obviously the character which the entire narrative hinges upon.

Had it not been for Green’s Emmy worthy performance, “Closer Than Sisters” would more than likely have been a plodding hour of mere exposition.

Penny Dreadful “Closer Than Sisters” grade: B-

Review: Fright Night on Channel 9: Saturday Night Horror Films on New York’s WOR-TV 1973-1987 by James Arena

It might be difficult for those born after the late 1980’s to comprehend, but there was a time when you were limited in terms of the availability of television programming. Viewers had a handful of options then as opposed to thousands now (not even counting internet content). Until the advent of cable, local stations and three major networks reigned supreme and your UHF stations pulled in signals from only a few hundred miles away (which is why, in Pittsburgh, we had the great WUAB out of Cleveland).

When cable arrived, more stations became available but it was still a far cry from what we have today. One of the blessings we received in Pittsburgh was New York’s WOR-TV which was one of the first cable “superstations”. WOR will always hold a special place in my heart for its broadcasts of King Kong and Godzilla movies on Thanksgiving as well as the various afterschool movies (one of which was Psycho, scaring the hell out of me at an early age) that kept me company until dinner time. So when I became aware of James Arena’s Fright Night on Channel 9: Saturday Night Horror Films on New York’s WOR-TV 1973-1987, I knew that it was a must read.

Fright Night on Channel 9 is a labor of love for Arena, a horror film junkie who was weaned on WOR’s late night offerings of lurid tales of monsters, murderers, and mayhem. In an exhaustively researched and documented book, Arena not only details the programming evolution of WOR but also provides his own insight in regard to each and every offering of the entire Fright Night lineup from its inception to its demise in 1987.

Arena’s assertion that he kept meticulous notes of the films broadcast during the Saturday viewings rings true in his recollection, thorough description, and insight into each and every movie. He also traces the erratic offerings of Fright Night on a weekly basis, even noting when the broadcast was delayed or preempted (there certainly seemed to be a lot of telethons back then for some odd reason).

Fright Night on Channel 9 will undoubtedly appeal only to certain readers, primarily those older TV viewers who fondly recall the bygone days when you could snap on the bulky tube televisions and be treated to either a classic film or something completely bizarre in the wee hours of the morning. However, the book’s glance at the transitional years of television at a major station will also be of interest to those who enjoy traveling back to a simpler time.

Though I don’t recall ever having had the pleasure of watching WOR’s Fright Night, I do remember both the amazing programming WOR had to offer as well as the old blocks of time local stations devoted to airing old horror movies (in Pittsburgh, it was Chiller Theater with Bill “Chilly Billy” Cardille). For genre fans like me and Arena, these broadcasts were a vital part of our childhood and provided hours of entertainment.

If you’re a horror fan, regardless of whether or not you had access to WOR, you should give Fright Night on Channel 9 a look. It will bring back a lot of memories and a smile to your face.

Fright Night on Channel 9 grade: B+

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Review: ‘Storage 24’

Storage 24 is a film that probably would have completely flown under my radar if it weren’t for one thing that made it completely unique–it was the lowest grossing film of 2013.

Ordinarily, that type of infamy doesn’t bode well for a movie. To only play in one theater for one week? Storage 24 must be a complete dud, right?

The very low budget film centers around five friends who find themselves trapped inside a secure storage facility after a military plane containing mysterious cargo crashes nearby. Charlie (Noel Clarke, who also had the idea for the film and co-wrote the screenplay) drags his best friend Mark (Colin O’Donoghue, Once Upon a Time) along to retrieve belongings from a locker shared by Charlie and his ex-girlfriend, Shelley (Antonia Campbell-Hughes). Ignoring Shelley’s wishes for him to leave her to gather her things along with pals Chris (Jamie Thomas King) and Nikki (Laura Haddock, Captain America), angry Charlie confronts his former lover just before all hell breaks loose. As Storage 24 unfolds, the facility’s inhabitants are stalked by an alien, who has already killed both a repairman and a receptionist and has now shifted its attention to the rest of the group. The friends struggle to find a way out before everyone winds up dead.

There’s a nugget of a great idea in Storage 24. Setting it inside a creepy storage facility was an interesting twist on the old sci-fi/horror trope of a band of survivors fighting off a monstrous invader, but even with the film clocking in at just shy of 90 minutes, it somehow still feels overly long. The focus on the relationship between Charlie and Shelley seems a bit soap opera-ish and the introduction of the “twist” amongst the friends seemed a bit forced, as if it didn’t grow organically out of the story.

Also, near the beginning of the film, we’re introduced to a few characters who never appear again as well as the notion that the government is on the scene, racing around town to locate the missing container. The problem is, with all the technology and advantages the government has at their disposal, they remain a non-entity throughout the rest of the movie (though the film’s final shot might provide an indication as to why the cavalry failed to arrive, which is something I can live with in retrospect).

Perhaps the most annoying aspect of Storage 24 was the introduction of what I referred to as a “squatter ex machina” into the plot. David is a character who resides in one of the units (um…ok), basically comes in from nowhere to provide exposition as well as obvious, helpful information, and then winds up a casualty. With no disrespect to Ned Dennehy, the actor who portrayed David and was great in the role, there was absolutely no need for the character in the film.

At any rate, the fact that Storage 24 was the lowest grossing film of 2013 doesn’t mean that it whttp://thisoldhauntedhouse.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=331&action=edit&message=10as the worst. Given the chance to sharpen the script a lot more, tighten up the pacing, and explore what was revealed in the final shot to a greater extent, Storage 24 might have gotten a lot more attention. Instead, it’s little more than an interesting diversion for a chilly Saturday night.

Storage 24 grade: C-

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Review: ‘The Abominable Dr. Phibes’ (1971)

 

The Abominable Dr. Phibes is a great Saturday afternoon movie.

What I mean by that is the film is one I more or less would have caught on Saturday afternoon TV back in the days before cable, when impressionable young kids had access to some of the greatest. most offbeat horror films of all time. Growing up in the late 70s and early 80s, I was able to see movies like Let’s Scare Jessica to Death, The Monster Club (reviewed here), Tourist Trap, and Theater of Blood (another Vincent Price classic) on both the local station, WPGH (now a fox affiliate) as well as Superstation WOR broadcast from Secaucus, New Jersey. However, The Abominable Dr. Phibes was not among the films I was fortunate to see back then.

As a result, it’s taken me around 40 years, but this afternoon found the perfect opportunity to spend a little time with the good doctor.

I’d always been under the impression that The Abominable Dr. Phibes was straight horror, but was pleasantly surprised to see dark humor interwoven with the scares. Of course, with this film, the word “scares” is used very loosely as the horrific elements are presented in a campy, over the top manner that probably wouldn’t have frightened me even as a preteen boy.

The story begins with the bizarre deaths of several prominent physicians, one of whom is shredded by bloodthirsty bats while another falls prey to having his head squeezed inside a frog’s mask at a masquerade party. The police investigation eventually leads them to discover all the doctors had ties to Dr. Vesalius (Joseph Cotton, Shadow of a Doubt), lead surgeon on a case involving Victoria Phibes, the wife of Dr. Anton Phibes, the former of which died on the operating table while the latter perished in a car accident en route to the hospital.

Or did he?

Turns out Dr. Phibes is alive, rather unwell, and out for vengeance. Phibes blames the surgeons for the death of his wife and sets out to eliminate those responsible (which include a nurse on duty that night) with inventive murders based on the Ten Plagues of Egypt (just because, ok?). Each person is taken out one by one with locusts, hail (rather creatively, mind you), and beasts (where a doctor is impaled by a brass statue and has to be unscrewed by the authorities in one of the film’s best and funniest sequences). And I’m certain it comes as no surprise to any viewer that one of the final attacks will come in the form of “death of the first born” and that Dr. Vesalius’s son will be the target. In the end, Vesalius races against the clock to save his son from being disfigured by acid while Phibes lives (dies?) to wreak havoc another day.

The Abominable Dr. Phibes reminds me a lot of Theater of Blood, a film I did see way back when and features a similar plotline (insane man wronged, kills victims in high concept manner). Both succeed because Price fully commits to the character and story, no matter how ridiculous the scene or dialogue might be, and that’s why he’s revered as one of the finest genre actors of all time. Cotton is above average in the role of main victim and Peter Jeffrey excels as Trout (or is it Pike?), the lead investigator.

While The Abominable Dr. Phibes is by no means a great horror film, its campiness makes it completely watchable and the film rightfully earns its place as a cult classic. If you’re looking for a nifty little movie marathon, it should be watched alongside Rocky Horror Picture Show and Phantom of the Paradise (if only because of Phibes’ mannequin band, the Clockwork Wizards, and the amount of time he spends jamming on his organ–pun totally intended).

I’m looking forward to Dr. Phibes Rises Again but hope it’s not another 40 years until I see it.

The Abominable Dr. Phibes grade: B-

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